Body Positivity: How We Grew To Resent the Movement We Created
12:27 PM
While scrolling through my Facebook feed the other night, I saw a status from a very well known Instagrammer cryptically stating there are fake people in the plus size community. The accompanying comment section had received more than 75 responses generally agreeing and sharing their discontent with the state of the body positive movement. I found myself scrolling and agreeing with many of their points as well.
But I began to think:
"How did we get here?"
I've considered myself a part of the bopo community for nearly 4 years now. I wasn't there during the LiveJournal days many people reference, or even for the inception of it on Instagram. But when I did discover it, I wouldn't say it was that extensive just yet. Or at least it didn't feel like it. Someone on the aforementioned thread said she wasn't sure if there was ever really a "community" or any sense of "unity", but I disagree.
I discovered the bopo community during one of my lunch breaks I had while working at Lane Bryant. A random girl had left a series of unsavory comments about my fatness on my pictures, and I couldn't help but respond with a sarcastic caption of mock confusion under a photo of me eating chicken nuggets. Another woman, named Lily, saw that picture and replied with encouragement and the hashtag "pizzasisters4lyfe". And this whole new world was opened up to me!
Now I wouldn't exactly say we had very many mainstream influencers quite yet. There were definitely standouts and people working their way towards that, but the line between Instagram movement and commercial success hadn't really been breached yet. At that point, I really feel we were just groups of people who understood one another's struggle with body acceptance. We posted and were there for each other out of the goodness of our hearts with no agenda. We championed each other's achievements like going outside in shorts for the first time or showing our cellulite and back rolls. We made lovely posts for each other every Wednesday sharing who was inspiring us and complimenting all the amazing characteristics we saw in one another. All of the self celebrating and encouragement was indescribably wonderful. I don't think any of us had ever experienced that level of support in our lives before, and it was coming from strangers of all people.
But in the midst of all the love being spread, there were those who claimed a hierarchy was taking shape. An Instagram page had been created for "Pizzasisters4lyfe" and people felt as though accounts with the highest number of followers were the only ones being featured. More so, there were some who felt the accounts with higher followings were elitist and wouldn't associate with smaller accounts. This caused a lot of tension and passive aggressive posts began popping up accompanied by unfollowing sprees. All of a sudden there was an "us vs. them" feel to the atmosphere.
The movement didn't stop expanding though. On the contrary, people continued to preach their flavor of body positivity and our boldness flourished further. The "Effyourbeautystandards" t-shirts and account were taking off, and Tess Holliday's (or Munster at the time) pin-up makeover and photo shoots were all over our feeds. A conversation about body positivity had started to take shape in mainstream media due in part to people like Tess, Whitney Way Thore, and Lena Dunham. Websites started to feature "listicles" of accounts people should follow and even gave spotlight features to stories they found particularly inspiring. These stories most commonly depicted plus size women losing weight, but still falling under the category of "plus sized", or eating disorder survivors who had finally found body peace. There were limits to this though and no matter if your story involved you losing weight or gaining weight, the common denominator was an "acceptably fat" body type that readers would feel comfortable supporting.
Online features turned to television spots, magazine spreads, sponsorship arrangements, modeling contracts, and book deals. Because of this body positivity and certain people within it seemed to blow up overnight and, whether it was wanted or not, these people became idolized and famous in a sense. We went from celebrating our individuality to comparing ourselves to our acquaintances or friends who all of a sudden had turned taking pictures in their bedrooms like us into a career path of sorts.
Companies realized the momentum the idea of simply loving yourself was gaining and a new hashtag and campaign seemed to be coming out every month. #ImNoAngel, #PlusIsEqual, #AerieReal, #RealBeauty, and more. The number of campaigns quickly started to feel overwhelming, but some tried to stand out by presenting themselves as relatable. They began featuring real bloggers and Instagrammers in the hopes people would identify with them (or that the number of followers these people had would garner them huge amounts of free publicity), but in my opinion, this strategy was never fully executed properly. For the most part, the most acceptably fat among us got asked to be featured. In some ways it felt like they were saying "We want to capitalize on your movement, but only by slightly pushing the boundary." Even today you'd still be hard pressed to find a truly intersectional, well rounded and representative body positive centered campaign. Many members of the community felt and continue to feel understandably excluded and even annoyed by this.
"Am I only allowed to be proud of my body if I have a thick booty and thighs but a flat stomach? Is that the only plus sized body type that's acceptable to celebrate? Where's my representation?"
Even on pages that were created for us to show flaws and all people began to feel less and less represented. The Effyourbeautystandards Instagram page came under fire multiple times for showcasing the same popular accounts repeatedly and showing more plus size fashion posts than bare faced, imperfect body embracing messages. Our role models have battled accusations of fraud, plagiarism, racism, and selling out by promoting diet teas and work out plans.
It's no wonder that at this point a good number of people feel disenfranchised by a movement that was always supposed to be there for them. Many still support the idea at it's core, but feel their bopo support circles have shrunk because the sense of community that once was so prevalent has been replaced by an aristocracy, commercialism, and competition. Or in other cases, some Instagrammers feel as though their accounts, which started as their own personal safe spaces to interact with like minded internet friends, have become a place more for the benefit of others. They're not necessarily posting for self discovery but to help thousands of others who look up to them. All of that pressure on a person who didn't set out to be a role model or Instagram celebrity can be quite a heavy weight to carry on top of the "behind the scenes" problems people experience in life.
So where do we go from here?
I think there are a few important things to note:
- The community may not feel as intimate as it once did, and it probably won't ever get back to that. That's okay. It may feel harder to connect with people between the comments/messages/emails, but whether you have a support system of 100 people or three people, as long as you have someone there who you can talk to and feel empowered by that's all you need.
- Some people are just going to get along better with each other, and that's also absolutely fine. If two people with high follower counts shout each other out a lot, that's not necessarily "elitism". I doubt in most cases anyone thinks they're better or above others because of the number of followers they have on Instagram. And if they do, is not being friends with someone like that really a reason to be upset?
- YOU MATTER! We still have a LONG way to go when it comes to true diverse representation across the board. Even if you don't see yourself when you look at campaigns, body positive shout out accounts, TV, etc. you are still so incredibly valid and important. It may take a million baby steps to get there, but every move we make is a step forward.
- Which brings me to my next point: I know it's easy to become bitter and resentful because you don't feel recognized or included. You might not be able to afford fancy clothes and don't have sponsorship deals like some plus size Instagrammers. You might be an individual who belongs to a marginalized group, and you're unsure if there's a space for you in bopo because you don't see people you identify with. You might have a physical disability and feel like no one represents you in that sense. You might not feel like anyone talks enough about the connection between body positivity and mental health. Just because the norm may celebrate a singular type of body, style, or message doesn't mean you don't have the power to add yourself to it and change the conversation. You can create change with persistence and perseverance.
- If you are lucky enough to be in a position where you have a strong presence in the community or through various forms of media, use that power to give a voice to the less represented. Be a champion of the marginalized and the unseen, and give back to the people in the movement who supported you throughout your bopo journey.
- Always be kind to people. Whether you have 10 followers or 100k followers, we're all just people on an app doing our best to love ourselves and erase years of hurtful comments and thoughts that have tried to break our spirits. But in spite of our common goal we all have different interpretations of what body positivity means to us. For some it's not being afraid to wear a crop top, for others it's working out at the gym. Different strokes for different folks. Just because we may not all agree doesn't mean we can't at the very least respect each other. And if someone differs that greatly from you, it's okay to have a conversation about your differences or just unfollow them. We don't need to be catty and underhanded and passive aggressive. It doesn't solve anything.
- It's the internet and you're not perfect! You might mess up! If someone calls you out on a questionable comment, action, or behavior, try to view it from their perspective. You're never going to make everyone happy all of the time, but it's necessary to recognize if your words, actions, or behaviors might be genuinely hurting other people. It's human nature to try to deflect blame when you feel ashamed, but it takes a big person to own up to something. It's okay to say, "I [or we] messed up and I'm really sorry for any hurt I may have caused." It's so much more respectable than giving a half hearted apology and blatantly telling people whether they should or shouldn't be offended by what you did.
- Try to get to know people. We all do that thing where we see accounts that we admire, and we want to initiate conversation, but we're too nervous to try. For all you know that person could admire you as well and be having the same internal struggle. Sprinkle some random compliments on people's pictures and see where it goes. Best case scenario: You make a new friend! Worst case scenario: You don't get a reply. That's not the end of the world and it doesn't mean they're ignoring you necessarily. Don't get discouraged. There's plenty more love to be found and spread elsewhere!
None of this is written to attack anyone or with ill intent. I just see a lot of hostility lately in a movement that used to inspire me daily. I hope things can change in terms of the atmosphere, because we have so many other things that try to tear us down as body positive people. I'd hate for us to start doing that to ourselves. I believe there are productive ways in which to discuss injustices, inconsistencies, and questionable words or actions, but we won't be able to effect change in society if we're angrily divided within. Continue to boldly love yourself, inspire others, and support one another!
1 comments
I loved this post! I'm going to share it on my IG :) I don't have a lot of followers but my hope is simply to encourage others the same way IG and the bopo community inspired me. I agree with everything that you said. Thank you for sharing <3 p.s. I'm at 26 yo Puerto Rican living in Floridia and I dated my husband long distance for a year! (I thought that was pretty cool lol)
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