My first blog on my new blog! How exciting!

This has been a year in the making. As you might remember, I had an old WordPress that I really wasn't proud of aesthetically speaking. I also found it tricky to blog regularly. I kept hyping myself up to think if I didn't have something really important or "groundbreaking" to say, what was even the point of putting up a post?

Blogging and Instagram quickly became these things I felt forced to do, like a job. When something feels more like an obligation than a fun outlet, it's probably time to reevaluate things. I kept telling myself I was going to blog about my adventures in the UK, but I had no motivation. That's partly because my outlet felt like an obligation, but also partly because I didn't manage my depression that great while I was abroad. Not having a job is really fun for a couple of weeks until it sets in that's where you experienced most of your social interaction, and it gave you a sense of purpose every day.

I cut myself off from most social media because it was just making me feel bad about myself most of the time, which is a blog for another day. In doing this, I lost touch with a lot of people and I'll admit I'm still struggling to find a place for myself on Instagram again. Again, a blog for another day.

But I'm back in Florida, for the time being, while I wait to hear about the status of my visa to go back. Regardless, I'll be back in London to see my loved ones in March. It just depends if it's for a visit or if it's to get married. Keeping all of my limbs crossed, knocking on wood, and throwing salt over my right shoulder. Not kidding.

Thus, with all my free time, I'm trying to organize my life! I had almost 5,000 unread emails which I've whittled down to 3,790. So...that's a small victory, people! Because I'm so shit at reading my e-mails, I'm just finding out now that I've missed out on photo shoot, collaboration, and interview opportunities which really sucks, and I apologize to anyone who's ever thought I was rude and just decided to never reply. I'm many things, but I try very hard to not be rude. I'm just really shit at replying sometimes. My friends can attest to this. Scout's honor though, I will do my very best to be more diligent when it comes to replying from here on out.

I'm also getting back into the Instagram habit. Doing at least a post a day to get myself back into the flow of things, and it's been really therapeutic. I don't think everyone is feeling the mental health posts so much, but different strokes for different folks. I have to be true to myself and this is what's relevant in my life currently. And people, who I've never heard from, have been sending truly lovely messages of support and sharing their stories with me. Again, I'm sorry if I haven't replied. I'm doing my best! But I definitely read your comments, messages, and emails and they mean so much to me, so thank you for your openness with me.

And finally, I'm going to keep myself preoccupied with this blog! It's definitely not all going to be about mental health, and the same can be said for my Instagram. There will be a body positive presence, as well as anything else I find the inspirational spark to write about!

So, thank you for your support thus far, whether you've known me since my early Instagram days or you've just found me. I hope your support will continue as I keeping trekking along. 💖

-C
xx